


Tantalus

by Maya_Koppori



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Needs a Hug, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, LadyNoir - Freeform, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, chat can purr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-24 08:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6148134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maya_Koppori/pseuds/Maya_Koppori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adrien thinks he's the only one who wants something he can't have. Ladybug doesn't want to be strong all the time.</p><p>They have a lot to talk about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tantalus

He had felt the urge for a long time. So long, in fact, that it had stopped registering every so often simply because it was a part of his life. Modelling helped too, the endless posing and reminders to sit up straight making it difficult to even imagine going through with it. But Adrien was only human, and he was tired and sore and all he wanted was to lay on someone for a while.

He’d done it before, of course. Mainly with his mother… But that obviously wasn’t an option anymore. Neither was Chloe, though she’d no doubt be thrilled. He shuddered to remember the sheer amount of selfies that had gone viral after the time he’d fallen asleep next to her on a long car trip. Nino was his best friend and totally okay with casual physical affection, but school was no place for laying on people and neither were any of Nino’s usual hangouts.

Adrien tried to decide whether he was being picky or if he was just too scared to ask. He concluded that maybe it was a little bit of both.

“I don’t get why you’re being so weird about it,” Plagg shrugged when Adrien tried explaining it to him. “If you’re tired, sleep. You want a pillow, take it. Want someone to sleep with you? That’s less blanket space for you, but to each his own.”

Adrien sighed and spun lazy circles in his desk chair. “It’s not just that I’m sleepy, Plagg. Haven’t you ever been somewhere you couldn’t relax, and then seen the perfect place to rest your head but known you couldn’t do it without making things awkward?”

“No,” Plagg said bluntly. “I’m a cat, Adrien. I go where I want, and I’m always relaxed.” As if to prove his point, he zipped up to pad around in Adrien’s hair. After a few circles to flatten down a nice bed, he laid down in the golden locks. “See, it’s easy. How would this be awkward?”

“That’s because it’s you, and you literally live with me, and we’re literally in our own room, alone. Anywhere else or anyone else is different, and you know that.” Careful not to disturb the kwami, Adrien turned back around to face his monitors, all three bright with the red and black motif of the Ladyblog. He couldn’t help but smile as he looked once again at the latest post. Ladybug’s striking eyes stared at him through the screen, making his stomach misbehave in the best possible way.  “It’s not about being sleepy,” he repeated. “It’s about… I dunno. Trust? Relaxing?” He sighed dreamily again. “I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s just this weird thing I think about sometimes, don’t worry about it.”

An unsatisfied hmmph blew through his hair, but Plagg seemed content to drop it for now.

* * *

After a few days, Adrien thought Plagg might be onto something with the whole fatigue thing. The more exhausted he was, the more often the urge came to throw his arms around the nearest friendly person and lean his weight into them. Once after a particularly overwhelming akuma attack, he actually caught himself daydreaming about stretching out across Ladybug’s lap and having her fingers scraping across his scalp. This was singularly confusing; his fantasies about his lady usually involved a lot more of him making her swoon into his arms, not the other way around.

“Is this a Chat Noir thing?” he demanded once his transformation dropped, just inside his window. “Because I don’t think most guys daydream about their crushes _petting_ them.”

Plagg groaned, floating down to gently rest on the top cover of Adrien’s bed. “I wouldn’t know. This happens sometimes with my chosens. Not always, but sometimes. I don’t really get to know anyone who’s _not_ Chat Noir well enough to know their sappy wishes.”

“ _This_ ? What’s _this_?” Adrien asked. He kicked his shoes off and joined Plagg on the bed, laying on his stomach and resting his head on his folded arms. “I thought you didn’t know about it.”

“I said I didn’t _get_ it. I still don’t.” Plagg swished his tail thoughtfully. “I’m guessing you figured out it’s not just exhaustion. The Chat two… No, three before you… He said it pretty well. It’s like you’re a tree in winter. You’re alive, you’re functioning, but it’s nothing like when you’re getting all of the sunlight you need. You’re having to work harder to keep going, to do the stuff that comes easier in summer, and you’re not getting a break. In your terms, I'd say it's like you're running on reserve batteries. That's way easier to remember. But then again, I’m not a poet.”

“So… How do I recharge?”

Plagg shrugged his tiny shoulders. “The ones before you were just as weird about it. Sometimes they got married and had spouses to cuddle and pet them all the time. Sometimes they told their Ladybugs about it.”

Adrien’s heart thumped. “How did she- they- react?”

“Differently each time. Some of them thought it was a romantic thing and refused, because they weren't interested or didn't want to lead Chat on. Some were happy to give their Chats some attention. Sometimes it turned into awful mush. Heck, sometimes they're the ones to ask Chat.”

“What?” Adrien breathed. The thought of Ladybug actually asking to be _closer_ to him, for any reason, was too weird to wrap his head around. But the worrying thought that she might be feeling the same way he was but wouldn't bring it up made him want to scream. He wouldn't wish this torture on anyone, least of all her.

“Yeah.”

They were silent after that, the boy and his kwami. Adrien flipped over and stared at the ceiling. “Do you think I should ask her tonight before patrol?” he asked finally.

“Whatever you want to do, kid, I'm not the one with the problem.”

Adrien snorted and got up to go search out some cheese for Plagg. But before he could make it to the door, the kwami appeared in front of him with an unreadable expression. “What is it?”

Plagg narrowed his cat eyes and shook his head. “I know I’m not really big or anything. But if she says no, I guess I can try to scratch your head for you.” He zoomed back over to the bed, bemoaning his empty stomach.

Warmth spread through Adrien’s chest and he smiled. “Thanks, Plagg.”

* * *

To say that he was nervous was an understatement. As much as he reminded himself that this wasn't romantic, wasn't sexual, wasn't anything he thought would cross the very clear boundaries Ladybug set and he abided by, he still felt it would be asking too much. But that didn't stop him from dropping from the sky and landing next to the bright red figure on the roof of Notre Dame.

“You're early,” was all she said, not sounding suspicious at all. Good; he didn't want her knowing he'd set out earlier than normal so he'd have time to think of what to say.

“Ladybug, can I talk to you before we head out? It's kind of… personal.” The wary look in her eyes prompted him to quickly explain himself. “Not the ‘secret identities’ kind of personal, I promise. According to my kwami, it might actually be a Chat Noir kind of personal.”

“Okay,” she said slowly, sitting down on the edge of the roof and gesturing for him to join her. She kicked her legs in dizzy circles over the empty air and watched him curiously. “Is something wrong? Do you need help with something?”

Chat brushed off his nerves and sat a careful distance from Ladybug, close enough that she wouldn't think anything was wrong but far enough away to keep her comfortable. “Kind of? I-ugh, this is kind of weird to talk about.”

Ladybug raised an eyebrow. “Is this something you should see a doctor about?”

“No!” Chat flushed red and covered his face with his hands. “Plagg says most of his chosen go through it, so I don't think it's unusual, but I don't know if other people do it. I mean who on earth spends their time wishing they could lay their head on someone’s shoulder? I don't know what it means! If I was tired I’d want a bed, if I wanted to be romantic with someone-”

“You'd pun them into swooning.”

“Exactly! So why can't I? There's plenty of opportunities, but nothing ever seems right and I'm not sure how they would take it and what if they think I'm a freak and what if everyone _else-_?”

“Chat!” Ladybug cut him off. Her face was a whirlwind of laughter and concern. “That's not weird. It's completely normal.”

Chat blinked. “It is?”

“Sure. Like, when you're just hanging out with your friends and you're having fun, and you just kind of.” Ladybug’s brow furrowed in concentration as she searched for the right words. “You just want to be able to let go for a second. Close your eyes and let them take care of you. But you don't, because you're at school or the mall or at someone else's house and you’re not comfortable with that. Or you're not sure if they'd be okay with it. If they don't instigate it, you don't want to in case it makes somebody _else_ uncomfortable.”

Chat was floored. Ladybug had just perfectly described what he was feeling. Which could only mean… “You feel that way too?”

If it was possible, Ladybug would have turned redder than her mask. Even the tips of her ears went pink. “Well, yeah. It's what happens when you get stressed and lonely.”

A beat of silence followed before Chat turned his whole body, putting his focus completely on her. “You're stressed and lonely?” he asked quietly.

Chuckling lowly, Ladybug tucked her legs under her and faced him too. “Chat, we’ve got the most stressful and lonely jobs I've ever heard of.”

_You've never tried modeling._

“Do you want to-” he blurted.

“Maybe we-” she said.

They stared at each other in silence. A soft breeze stirred the air between them but did little to blow away the tension.

“Don't you have close friends? A family?” Chat whispered.

“None I can talk to about this.” Ladybug replied, gesturing between them. “Trust me, one friend in particular is very huggy, but that's not all I need. What about you?”

“Family’s not an option for this. I have the one friend, but we’re never alone or in a situation where it would make sense.” He hung his head, cat ears drooping. “It's scary. No matter how much you want to give up… It's give and take. They're not always going to be there. You could wake up one morning and they- the person you relied on, you opened up to, you saw as your safe harbor- they could be gone. How are you supposed to relax if you know that?” He groaned to shut himself up. This was getting way too close to mother territory, and Ladybug wouldn't take kindly to him bemoaning the bigger details of his civilian life. “Sorry, I'm rambling. Maybe Plagg was right,” he said instead. “I'll never not make it awkward.”

Suddenly Ladybug was there. She'd been there of course, but now she was _right_ there. He could count the freckles on the end of her nose, and see the individual gossamer strands of her irises shine silver in the moonlight. Chat Noir abruptly had no idea how to breathe.

“So you're saying that you need privacy, trust, and mutual affection?” she asked. “Say, on a rooftop with a partner and best friend?”

He nodded jerkily, like a puppet on a string. He barely dared to blink or risk shattering this moment.

Ladybug smiled, and it was as much an invitation as her open arms. “Come here, kitty. I'm not going anywhere.”

A hundred sleepless nights told him to go for it. A thousand rebuffs told him not to push his luck. A million nerve endings in his body ignored that and let him fall against Ladybug with a shudder.

“Whoa!” she breathed, but caught him easily. Her hands settled uncertainly on his arm and shoulder, hesitant.

That wouldn't do. Chat closed his eyes and let his instincts carry him forward, nuzzling down into the crook of Ladybug’s neck. His forehead nudged her, insistent, until one hand wove into his hair and she began to _scratch_.

“Hnnnnmmmgggg-!” The sound Chat let out would have been mortifying under any other circumstance, but not now. Ladybug had offered. She had asked him. And now she was methodically sifting through his hair with gentle touches and soft scritches. It was the sound of his worries being held up, taken, and stored away to be forgotten, if only for this moment.

He opened his mouth to apologize anyway but his breath hitched- once, twice, like an engine turning over on a cold morning- before growing into a rolling purr. Pure ecstasy overcame him, turning his body heavy and pliant all at once. This was worlds better than he'd imagined he'd ever get. It was like the entire world had left them alone, just him and Ladybug and their bodies, close and happy and safe.

Chat felt Ladybug’s amused words before he heard them, vibrating in the soft skin of her throat he was still nosing into. “Huh, you really are like a giant cat, aren't you.”

More purring in answer, and his arms wound their way around her waist without his permission, longing for something to hold close. Ladybug stiffened for only a moment, but it was enough to break through the haze. Chat froze and the purr died out. “Sorry,” he said, making to pull away. “I know you're not- you don't feel-”

“Shh.” Ladybug’s hands stilled his, and she flashed him another assuring smile. “I know what it's like. You just surprised me, that's all.”

“I still shouldn't have,” he murmured, but promptly shut up when her hands returned to his head. It was quite a while of pure bliss before he managed to control the purring enough to speak again. “Want to switch? I'm the one getting all of the attention.”

“This is good,” she assured him. She giggled and rewarded his even more vigorous purring with a scratch under the chin. “And you're the one who really needed it tonight. Don't worry, I'll get my turn.”

Those words alone made sure Chat didn't stop purring all night long.

* * *

Despite the fact that he'd stayed up later than ever, Adrien woke up the next morning the most rested he had in months. The rising sun cast a dreamy halo over his room and made the prospect of leaving his warm bed seem almost enjoyable.

“Adrien? It's time to wake up, your father would like-” Nathalie’s terse instructions tapered off into shocked silence as Adrien scampered past her down the hall.

He grinned and spun on one heel, walking backwards. “My father would like?” he coaxed.

The secretary blinked and shook her head briefly. “He's having breakfast. You should join him.”

“Okay! Have a nice day, Nathalie.” Adrien whirled back around and hurried downstairs to meet his father, school bag slung over one shoulder.

“Y-You too, Adrien.” Nathalie told the empty air.

Adrien entered the dining room and found his father at the head of the table, simultaneously doing paperwork and picking at an omelette. He looked up briefly from behind his glasses and back to his work. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Adrien chirped. He sat down to his own omelette, tucking in with gusto.

Gabriel stared for a moment and set aside his papers. “You're certainly hungry.”

Adrien nodded. Even over the moon, he knew better than to talk to his father with his mouth full. He almost didn’t notice how unusual it was for his father to speak more than two words to him in the morning. Almost.

“Did you get dinner last night?” Gabriel asked.

Adrien swallowed and answered. “Yes, father.”

“What did you eat?”

“Um.” Adrien sobered, trying to think back. “Didn’t the chef make chicken parmesan last night?”

“Hmm.” Gabriel steepled his fingers in front of him, looking thoughtful. “Has something happened at school? Something I should know about?”

“What? Father, I mean no disrespect, but why are you asking all these questions?”

The corner of Gabriel’s lips twitched upwards in what was almost a smile. “Adrien, I haven’t seen you walk down those stairs in pajamas since you were eleven. I was convinced you were sleepwalking.”

Adrien glanced down and cringed. He was still wearing some loose red flannel pants and a white t-shirt. Embarrassment made his face burn. “Oh. I didn’t realize. I’m sorry, father, I’ll change right away.”

“Finish your breakfast first,” Gabriel instructed, taking up his work once again. “It’ll get cold while you’re gone, and I could use the company.”

The confusion in Adrien evolved into pleasant surprise, and he sat back down. While he finished his food, he had the startling revelation that Ladybug could be right- that everyone, even his father, felt stressed and lonely sometimes, too.

* * *

“You _what_?”

Adrien didn’t need to turn to know that Alya was staring, slackjawed, at Marinette, because he’d nearly done the same when he entered the classroom at his usual time to find her there. The blue eyed girl was smiling sheepishly at her friend.

“I happened to get a really good night’s sleep for once. Geez, Alya, I’m not always late to school.”

“But you’re _never_ early. Class doesn’t start for another twenty minutes.” There was a pause, and a flurry of whispering in which he could have sworn he heard Alya say his name, followed by a familiar kettle-like wheezing from Marinette.

Though he was dying to turn around and join the conversation, Adrien resisted. Marinette wasn’t comfortable around him. It was too bad, since he wanted to get to know her better, but he wasn’t about to make her uncomfortable just because…

Wait.

Adrien recalled, for the thousandth time, Ladybug’s words from the night before. If everyone felt the way he did at some point, then there was a different conclusion he could come to. He conceded that this could be his ego talking, but… What if _Marinette_ was the one worried about what _he_ thought? If that was the case, Adrien was the one who had to make the first step.

He half turned in his seat to greet his friends, but the sight that met him stopped him in his tracks and threw his entire train of thought out the window. After Alya’s teasing, Marinette’s resultant pout had prompted an apologetic hug. Marinette’s face completely relaxed, and she leaned into her friend’s embrace. For a moment, Alya’s eyes were totally unguarded, showing so much affection and compassion for the girl in her arms that Adrien flushed and whirled back around, feeling like he was intruding on something unspeakably intimate just by being in the room.

God, was that what his face looked like last night? Was that what Ladybug’s face would look like? Maybe even tonight?

_Good Lord, he was going to die a happy man._


	2. Eirene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug isn't usually one to admit that she needs help outside of superheroing. But now... It's her turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't listening to In The Rain on repeat while I wrote this, what? I guess the story would be incomplete without her side, and y'all convinced me of that. It's a bit shorter, but just as heartfelt. Enjoy :)

Ladybug hadn’t known her partner for long, and one could argue that she didn’t even know him very well. They fought side by side to protect the city, but that was work. Personal details- favorite colors, pets, siblings, what books they were reading recently- were not discussed. Ladybug didn’t know what kind of music Chat listened to but she could sense where he would be before he was there, could hear where his feet would go just from the cadence of his steps.

They didn’t even have to look at each other, and sometimes that scared her.

“Notre Dame in an hour?” was all she said, and she knew he understood why. 

“If you really can’t stand to be apart,” he crooned flirtatiously, and he knew that she would hear past the grandeur and the trills of their quickly draining Miraculous to the sincerity beneath.

And that’s where she found him, sprawled on the ramparts waiting for her not forty five minutes later. He rocked to his feet with an eager smile when he heard her approach, and greeted her with a warm hug. “Welcome back, my lady.”

“Hi, Chat,” she hummed, failing to repress her own grin. She let herself be still for just a moment longer, the scents of leather and a citrusy shampoo tickling her nose, before she reluctantly pulled back. “Did you get in and out okay?”

Chat snorted. “Yeah, if you call a ten minute lecture on tardiness before crawling to my room to lick my wounds ‘okay.’ It’s not our fault Hawkmoth chooses the absolute worst times to attack.”

Ladybug nodded, patting a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Tell me about it. My parents always freak out if I have to be out alone or after dark nowadays. ‘Ladybug can’t keep everyone safe!’”

Chat’s mouth twitched. “If only they knew, huh?”

“Yeah.”

They stood, not saying anything and not having to. They were both thinking back to a night like that one- was it only a couple of weeks ago?- on that same ancient rooftop. She was just as bone-deep tired as she had been that night, maybe even more so. It was something she’d learned to live with, but that didn’t mean she liked it. She knew Chat noticed, from his furrowed brow and lack of witty banter, and Ladybug was relieved but somehow not surprised that Chat wasn’t trying to broach the subject. As always, he was waiting for her to make the first move.

She didn’t know what to make of her tomcat sometimes. He could out-flirt a movie star and never wasted an opportunity to use a new pick-up line on her, in the heat of battle no less. But whenever she stepped forward, he retreated. The memory of him looking at her, lost and tired and so afraid of rejection… She couldn’t remember ever seeing anything so sad in all her life.

“So,” Ladybug said finally, avoiding his eyes as they snapped to hers. She felt a slight blush creep up her neck. “I never got my turn.”

Chat’s face lit up like a kid’s on Christmas morning. “Then if the lady permits, I will happily supply it.”

Ladybug snorted. “You dork.” But she let him take her by the hand and lead her to one of rounded ledges of stone surrounding the edge of the building. 

Chat sat in the center of one and looked up at her, giving her his undivided attention. “Now, I know from last time that we have similar feelings about this, but I don’t want to catch you by surprise again. How do you want to do it?”

Hesitating, Ladybug fiddled with her yoyo to buy herself some time. She had her own daydreams, of course, but they were mostly embarrassingly romantic and involved way too much of Adrien Agreste for her to share those specific details with Chat. She was embarrassed enough that she couldn’t seem to even ask her partner for a cuddle without making it out to be some huge deal.

“Hey,” Chat said quietly, and she locked eyes with him once again in spite of herself. His body language was open and nonthreatening, arms down at his sides and hands resting lightly on the stone ledge as he leaned back. “If you can’t say it, you can just go ahead and start and I’ll follow your lead. I just figured you’d want to lay some boundaries.”

“I trust you,  _ chaton _ ,” Ladybug answered with a tired smile. “And you know me. I'll definitely let you know if anything bothers me.” She bit her lip as she studied her partner. Wordlessly, she reached out and turned his shoulders perpendicularly to the ledge. He followed without resistance, letting her move him like a mannequin, until he was curled along the half circle with his back to the stone. Taking a deep breath, Ladybug took a seat on the ledge. She felt the intensity of Chat’s eyes on her every move and decided to start small, laying herself down next to him so that their arms were gently pressed together.

Chat didn’t move a muscle. From what Ladybug could hear, he might actually be holding his breath. A rush of affection coursed through her at his admittedly chivalrous selflessness. Here he was, lying side by side with her, and he wasn’t even cracking any jokes to ease his own nerves. He was one hundred percent focused on her and how she was feeling. 

Closing her eyes, Ladybug let out a breathy laugh. “You can relax, you know. I’m not going to run away, Chat. I’m just not really sure…”

“...Sure?” Oh no, he was getting panicky again. She could hear it in his voice.

“On how to, you know. Start. You just went all cat mode on me and I followed along. I don’t think I can do that.” She had thought about it for days afterward, how she would proceed if their roles were reversed, but she still had no idea.

Chat shifted beside her, and she unconsciously mirrored him. They stared at each other in the twilight, lying on their sides with mere inches of space separating them, and Ladybug was once again caught by the  _ adoration _ in his eyes. He was such a flirt that sometimes she forgot, but he had genuine feelings for her. Chat was holding himself back because he respected that she… Well, that she didn’t feel quite the same way.

“My lady?” he asked, concern in his tone. His gloved hand twitched up between them, cautiously coming to rest over hers. “What is it?”

“You-” She had to cut herself off, to breathe in sharply, to figure out the jumble of words in her head so they made sense before she continued. “Chat, are  _ you  _ alright with this?”

His eyes widened, but his features quickly returned to a marvel of earnestness. “Of course, Ladybug. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Tears threatened to form at the corners of her eyes, but she forced them to retreat. How could she complain to  _ him _ of all people that she felt guilty about not loving him back? Oh, she adored him, sure; he was brave, and fun, and she trusted him. But that wasn’t enough to replace Adrien in her heart. And this, this thing that they were heading into together that she couldn’t name and didn’t want to… It felt distinctly like she was taking advantage of his feelings. 

“You love me,” she whispered in answer.

“Forever,” he agreed without hesitation, and her heart wanted to burst. “And it’s okay that you don’t. That kind of love isn’t the only kind out there.” His other hand reached up slowly, giving her ample time to stop him or move away, and brushed away her bangs where they’d fallen over her eyes. He didn’t pull it away, but let it rest on her cheek. She closed her eyes and sighed into the touch as he said “Which is fine, because I love you in all of the ways. All of them, my lady.”

A tearful laugh burbled its way from her throat, and she blinked her eyes open to find Chat smiling at her. He always did that, always managed to make her laugh even in the most serious of conversations. “I love you too,” she told him. “I’m glad you’re my partner. Even if you annoy me to pieces sometimes.”

“Oh Bugaboo, you know just what to say.” Chat leaned the rest of the way and gently knocked his forehead against hers. They stayed like that for a few more moments just to hear each other breathing, two hands held between them and the others somewhere near her ear. 

Ladybug finally opened her eyes again and drew back, looking her partner over with interest. “Can you scoot up a little? I think I know what I want.”

Chat immediately complied, and she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at how quickly and eagerly he adjusted his grip on her to do as she asked. Not breaking eye contact, Ladybug lifted the hand on her face and slid underneath his arm to press against his side. After some wiggling, she settled on laying her cheek on the juncture of his chest and shoulder, the back of her head cradled against against the arm now drawn over her shoulders. Their free hands stayed locked with each other. Ladybug closed her eyes once again and slowly, finally relaxed all of her weight into her partner. Her remaining hand, awkward in its lack of resting place, shyly made its way to rest on his abdomen. His body jerked once but quickly stilled.

“Is that okay?” she asked tentatively. “Are you comfortable?”

“You ask as if you didn’t already know the answer,” Chat breathed, and Ladybug couldn’t help but giggle at the catch in his breath. He was right, of course. She could hear his heartbeat thrumming beneath her ear where it pressed to his chest and it was erratic and strong. But as they settled, it slowed and evened out into a comforting rhythm. His belly was warm and she got lost in feeling it rise and fall under her palm. “I think there’s a reason for us being here. Do you want to talk about it?” he asked after a minute of silence.

She knew what he meant, and knew that he wasn’t forcing her. Chat was understandably curious. One minute she had been strictly professional, and then right before they parted ways she had asked him to meet her. In his shoes, she’d be curious about the reason too.

Curling her legs up to rest against his knees, she gripped his fingers more tightly. “I got scared. When you got thrown into that building…” When he didn’t interrupt or try to finish her sentence, she sighed. “I know  _ now  _ that you were playing dead so he would get close enough for you to grab the akuma. But at the time, I thought- I thought you-”

“Hey,” he shushed, pulling her closer as her own breath started hitching and graciously refraining from commenting on it. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have worried you like that,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m right here, and I’m fine. I’ve got you.”

“I should be used to this by now, shouldn’t I?” she wondered, nosing her way into the crook of Chat’s neck. He was so warm, how on earth had she never known that before? Or maybe she only noticed it now, after she’d imagined him cold and unmoving. “We do this all the time, and logically I know you’ve survived worse hits than that. Why did everything just stop when you didn’t stand up?”

Chat pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, sending a tingle down Ladybug’s spine. “You never get used to seeing someone you care about hurt or in danger. It just makes you try harder to make sure they don’t have to do it alone.”

Her chest tightened at his words. This was what she’d needed. Not just the cuddles, the physical confirmation that her partner was alive and well and still with her. She’d needed to be reminded that no matter how tough it got, no matter how alone and scared she felt when she was living her double life, there was always someone else who understood. “Chat?”

“Yes, my lady?”

“I- Thanks. I needed to talk it out, but I’m better now.”

Chat answered with another kiss, this time to her temple, before wrapping her more securely against him. “Any time, Ladybug. Go on and rest if you want, you’ve had a long day. I’ll keep watch.”

Ladybug hummed deep in her chest, promptly triggering Chat’s purr, and smiled. As she began to doze, lulled by the consistent sound, she realized that all of the weight and stress she’d been carrying was gone. She felt light, lighter than she felt even when she was airborne, because there was always the knowledge that her weightlessness would eventually end and she’d come crashing back down to earth. Not with Chat. With him supporting all of her weight against his body, a shield between her and the rest of the world, she knew that there wasn’t a force in the universe that would make him let her fall.


	3. Philotês

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? There's more? What's going on here????? (Y'all wanted to see more of the love square and boy howdy here we go.)  
> WARNING: SLIGHT ORIGINS SPOILERS IN THIS CHAPTER, BUT NOT LIKELY FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS.

Adrien had his story ready the moment he woke to the sound of footsteps.

_Oh, is lunch over? I'm so sorry, I'll get to class right away. I was just so absorbed in writing this essay…_

He stifled a groan and peeled his cheek from his folded arms. His phone said he still had fifteen minutes before class started. Good. He still had some time to pull himself together. Without another thought, Adrien put his head back down.

His story was ready, but he was not. His tablet was tucked securely into his school bag, just as it had been for the past hour. And as much trouble as he knew he'd be in if he was caught dozing in an empty classroom, he just couldn't bring himself to care. Between lying about akuma attacks to his father, doing crack of dawn photoshoots for his father, trying to avoid his father, and failing miserably at avoiding his father, Adrien’s daily quota for caring was pretty much out the window.

The footsteps came closer, soft and gliding against the tile. They paused outside of the door. A gentle knock echoed through the room. “Adrien?”

Adrien frowned and looked up again. He knew that voice. “Marinette?”

The doorknob turned slowly, and none other than Marinette Dupain Cheng peered around the edge of the door. Her face flushed vividly as their eyes met and she scrambled for words. “AaaaHI! Are- are you alight in there? I mean not _alight_ you're obviously not on fire- alright?!”

Adrien blinked sleepily at her and shook his head. “I'm fine, just a little tired. Thanks though.”

Usually, that was enough. He still didn’t really understand what made her tick, but Adrien had noticed a pattern- if Marinette could get past the initial greeting without stumbling over herself, things went pretty smoothly. If not, Marinette was usually more than willing to put a couple countries worth of distance between them.

So when Marinette closed the door behind her and took a seat next to him at the empty bench, Adrien didn't think it would be exaggerating to say that he was completely floored.

“I-I know I shouldn't pry,” Marinette said, looking straight ahead. Her hands, clasped on the desk in front of her, were shaking. “But you disappeared really suddenly and Nino couldn't get you to answer your phone. We were worried.”

Ah. Adrien nonchalantly turned over his phone and blinked at the wall of texts that greeted him. There were texts from Alya, Nino, Chloé… Even a single call from an unknown number.

“Ah, I didn't take my phone off silent. Sorry,” Adrien said, and he meant it. He was used to having to disappear for akuma attacks, but the city was at peace for now. With no imminent danger, there was no excuse for him to vanish into thin air. Of course his friends would wonder where he went. “I didn't mean to worry you. I just needed some time alone.”

He knew immediately that it was the wrong thing to say. Marinette’s flush drained from her cheeks, turning her already fair skin deathly pale. “Oh my gosh, I am _so_ sorry! Obviously you wanted to be alone, why else would you come all the way over here and not tell anyone and I just barged right in, didn't I? Sorry, God, I'll go I'm really _really_ sorry-!” She stood up with alarming speed and turned way too fast to try and run out of the room, and her feet tangled together in her haste.

“Hey-!” Adrien shot across the bench on reflex. His hands steadied Marinette right before she could take her tumble, but he'd over calculated how much strength it would take to stop her fall and ended up pulling her straight back into him.

“Oof!” Marinette landed on top of him on the bench, driving the air out of both of them. Adrien grunted sharply as he was flattened to the bench, but thankfully noted that he seemed to have cushioned her fall. She recovered surprisingly quickly, flipping herself around to peer down at him. Bracing her elbows on either side of his torso, she hovered over him, bangs hanging low over her concern filled eyes. “Are you okay?” she asked seriously, no trace of her nervousness from earlier remaining on her face or in her posture.

A jolt of familiarity tugged at Adrien’s gut. Marinette hadn't made eye contact with Adrien very much since they first met, and when she did it was fleeting and skittish. But something about the intensity of her gaze… the apparent ease with which she assessed and ran with the situation… the fact that her first question was about his safety…

_Those eyes belonged to someone else._

“I'm fine,” he answered, breathless for more than one reason. “Are _you_ okay?”

Marinette blinked once, twice, and like that the spell was shattered. Her face once again flooded with heat, and she scrambled to get herself off of him. “Thank you!” she squeaked. “I mean sorry. I didn't- I’m sorry!” She turned on her heel and ran from the room, and Adrien caught the shine of tears in her eyes as she went.

“Marinette!” Adrien called after her. Totally awake now, he leapt up and ran to the door, looking left and right. It was no use. Marinette was gone, and he had no idea where she had run off to. “Plagg!” he hissed. “Did you hear which way she went?”

At the end of the bench, a tiny cat head poked its way out of Adrien’s schoolbag and yawned. “Which way who went?” Plagg yawned.

Adrien groaned and put his face in his hands. Now he’d really done it. “What is wrong with me? First the whole thing with Father, and now this?”

Plagg’s ears twitched anxiously. “Hey, I thought you got over that thing with your dad. Ladybug gave you ‘cuddles’, remember?”

“How could I forget?” Adrien sighed. He left the doorway and crouched next to his bag, thinking aloud. “It was amazing, Plagg, but cuddles can’t fix everything.”

“How do you know?” Plagg countered. “Maybe Crazy needs a cuddle, too.”

Adrien glared at his kwami. “Marinette is not crazy! She just… gets flustered easily. And now she’s off crying somewhere because of me.” He paused for a moment, a scary thought entering his mind. “Plagg, you don’t think she could attract one of Hawkmoth’s akuma, do you?”

Plagg looked around worriedly, tail swishing in a nervous pattern. “Dunno. People have been akumatized for less.”

“Then we’ve got to find her!” Adrien snatched up his bag, and Plagg along with it. He was nearly to the door again when he stopped, one hand gripping the doorknob.

“What is it? Come on, we might be able to get to her before Hawkmoth does!” Plagg ordered.

“I’ll just make things worse,” Adrien argued. “Didn’t you see her face? Whatever her deal is, it’s with me. She went out of her way to check on me and I messed everything up _again_. The last thing Marinette will want is to see me right now.”

Plagg threw up his hands in exasperation. “Then get her friend with the blog, or even Nino! Someone needs to talk to her if you don’t want another akuma running around on top of everything else.”

Adrien nodded. “You’re right. Someone does need to make sure she’s okay.” A thought struck him, just crazy enough to work, and he smirked. “And I know just the cat for the job!”

* * *

“Um, no offense? But I thought only cats were supposed to get stuck in high places.”

Marinette glared at him, more annoyed than surprised at his sudden appearance, and scrubbed at her cheeks with her sleeves. “M’not stuck,” she grumbled. “I come up here sometimes. It’s not against the rules.” It wasn't a lie; as Ladybug, getting onto the school’s roof was a cinch. As Marinette, all it took was a quick run up a flight of stairs and a little bit of luck in the form of a door that didn't always close all the way.

Chat chuckled and crossed the rooftop to stand over her. “Are you sure about that, little lady? Seems to me like the school roof would be off limits for safety reasons. As a superhero, I’m gonna have to make sure you get down safely.”

“You-!” Marinette almost snapped, but something in Chat’s posture caught her interest. With a final sniff and a swipe at her eyes, she let herself study her partner. He was stiff, and his cheerful expression might have fooled anyone but her. He was worried about something. _Jeez, what is it with that today?_

“I?” Chat repeated. “I what? Am so courteous? Kind?” He wiggled his eyebrows flirtatiously. “Handsome?”

A giggle worked its way from Marinette before she could stop it. “I was going to say you don’t have to bother, but I shouldn’t pass on the sentiment.”

The mask broke, and confusion and careful curiosity played across Chat’s face. “What do you mean by that?”

All at once, Marinette recalled what had caused her to seek refuge on the rooftop and she had to bite back a wail. “Ugh. It’s nothing, really. I just embarrassed myself again, nothing new there.” Well that was the understatement of the century...

Chat was silent for a minute. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, almost softer than she had ever heard it. “Can I sit?”

Marinette nodded and patted the space next to her, still lost in her mind’s endless loop of recent events. Chat dropped down gracefully, crossing his legs beneath him to sit a friendly distance from her with his back against the rooftop ledge, and waited. Eventually deciding that he wasn’t going to say anything or leave, Marinette sighed and spoke. “Have you ever just… Really messed something up? Like, no matter what you do, no matter how many times you try, you just fail every single time?”

To her surprise, Chat didn’t laugh. It was his go-to in tense situations, and how he normally tired to cheer himself and others up. Instead, he just heaved a sigh and leaned back more comfortably against the edge of the roof. “Actually, I’m pretty familiar with that.”

“Pffft. Yeah, right.”

“No, really! I have a life outside of the sexy catsuit,” Chat reminded her. A sad smile crossed his features, and he stared off at something that Marinette couldn’t see. “I keep trying to make friends with someone, but every time we talk alone it ends in disaster. I don’t know how to fix it.”

Marinette gave a dry chuckle. “I just interrupted a boy from my class’s private time and then fell on top of him. It's so dumb! I freeze up or do something stupid every time I try to talk to this guy, even when I’m just checking to see if he’s okay. I don’t know why he even sticks around when I’m there, he’s got to know by now what a disaster I am.”

Chat spluttered, and to Marinette’s shock he looked offended. “You are _not_ a disaster! You faced off with the Evillustrator!”

“And got the two of us put in a box.”

“Which _you_ found a way out of.”

“Using _your_ powers.”

“Look, Marinette,” Chat tried. “Has this guy said anything to make you think he doesn’t want you around?”

Marinette blushed, looking away once again. “Well… No. Not in so many words.”

“Has he ever avoided you or been mean to you?” Chat continued.

“What? No! How could you even say that?” Marinette gasped. Adrien, mean? Once she might have thought it, but not now that she actually knew him. The thought was preposterous! “He’s the sweetest, kindest person I’ve ever met, Chat! He always goes out of his way to be nice to people, even the kind of people that others can’t stand. Even… Even to me, and I falsely accused him the very first time I met him.”

Chat leaned forward just slightly, trying to make eye contact with her. “Well, then why do you freak out if this dude is as nice as you say?” he asked, sounding more curious than he ought to.

Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned. “I don’t _know_. The first time we talked, I was fine. I was mad at him, but I could get more than two words out without stuttering. But right after that, it was like I couldn’t function. He’s too nice to say anything about it, but he must think I’m a total freak.”

“Impossible,” Chat argued. He held up one gloved hand and started ticking off fingers. “You’re nice enough to forgive someone who you thought was doing wrong by you. You look out for others- don’t deny it, I’ve seen you protect people during some akuma attacks- and you still worry about this guy even though you’re afraid to interact with him.” Chat shook his head, something akin to wonder in his eyes as he looked at her. “I don’t know about him, but I’d count myself lucky to have someone like you as a friend.”

“Chat, that’s really sweet. But I fell over myself, fell _on top of him,_ and then ran away. If he didn’t think I was weird before, there’s no chance now,” Marinette said with a humorless laugh. 

“You don’t know that.” Chat took her firmly by the shoulder and forced her to look him in the eyes. “Marinette, you’re not the only one who feels awkward when they try to make friends. Ladybug told me recently that everyone goes through it. He can’t read your mind, and you can’t read his. The only way it’ll happen is if you talk it through and _make_ it happen.”

Marinette thought about it. It was annoying having her own advice turned against her when she couldn’t even call him on it, but Chat was right. She couldn’t give up if she wanted to be closer to Adrien. Slowly, she felt herself smile. “O-Okay. I’ll try.”

“Thank you,” Chat said, so softly that Marinette wondered if he’d meant to say it aloud. A deep wave of affection rushed over her, and she abruptly wished that she was Ladybug at that moment so she could hug her partner as hard as she could. She settled for taking his hands in hers and squeezing tightly, and hoped that he would know what she meant.

From the tender look on his face, he did.

“S-So then,” she coughed, carefully withdrawing her hands. “I don’t suppose- would you mind giving me a lift down? The door might have locked behind me when I got up here. Shut up,” she added sharply when she saw Chat’s downright feral grin. “I blame my bad luck on you.”

“But it happened before I even got here!”

Marinette chuckled. “Get me down from here and we’ll call it even. I’ve got to run back to the bakery really quick.”

Chat stood and offered his hand, pulling her to her feet and drawing her in close. “Hold on,” was all the warning she got before he wrapped an arm around her waist and vaulted into the air. Instead of simply taking her down to the ground, Chat launched them across the street to land lightly on the roof of the Dupain bakery. “There you go, little lady. Do you need a ride back to school, or is this okay?”

Marinette laughed. Now that they were on solid ground, she playfully shoved Chat away. “I think I’m good. Hold on a second though, will you? I’ll just be a minute.” She didn’t give him a chance to respond. She knew he’d be there when she got back.

When Marinette emerged onto her balcony again after a mad scramble around the bakery’s kitchen, Chat was standing right where she had left him, deliberately holding the same pose like the absolute cheeseball he was. His eyes, however, immediately darted to the boxes in her hands. “Whatcha got there? Lunch?”

“An apology present,” she corrected. “And a thank you present.” Grinning, she pried open the lid of the first box and held it out to Chat. “Croissant? They’re fresh from the lunch rush.”

The response was instantaneous. Chat’s ears perked up and he slinked forward, hands on the box in seconds. “For me?” He grinned, already reaching for one of the steaming pastries.

“Well, sure. You cheered me up and helped me off the roof, and I’m going to take a wild guess and say you didn’t get any lunch today. So, thanks.”

Holding the croissant delicately between his claws, Chat took one careful bite- “Oh.”- and proceeded to shove the entire thing into his mouth. “Oh my God. If this is a thank you present I’m probably going to have to steal the apology ones.”

“Don’t you dare,” Marinette scolded with mock severity. She smiled down at the remaining brown box and felt her heart squirm in anticipation. “They’re for Adrien, to let him know I’m sorry for everything that happened today.”

Chat choked on his second croissant. Startled, Marinette was beside him and thumping his back with her free hand before she could think about it. “Whoa, kitty. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”

When he finally stopped sounding like he was dying, Chat fixed her with a disapproving look. “You don’t have to give him anything.”

“I guess, but I still feel bad for putting him in such an awkward position. I should at least give him something nice.” Marinette argued. But she still frowned at the box, wary now that Chat had voiced his protests. “But maybe I should do something else,” she admitted softly, shoulders slumping. “I mean, he’s a _model_ . What’s he going to do with a dozen macarons? Oh, I’m such an _idiot_. He probably can’t even eat them.”

“No!” Chat said quickly. “That’s not what I meant, come on.” He patted her shoulder and gave her an awkward but sincere smile. “You don’t have to get him anything because you didn’t do anything wrong, but I guarantee he’ll appreciate it anyway.”

“How do you know?”

“Because it’s a heartfelt gift from a good friend. From _you._ ” He said it like it was obvious.

The conviction in his voice was surprising, but filled Marinette with determination again all the same. It seemed that even when he didn’t know it was her, her partner was always trying to support her and make her feel better. _Screw it,_ she thought, and pulled him in for a bone crushing one armed hug.

Caught off guard but still smiling, Chat returned it. “Wow. You’re stronger than you look.”

“Ha ha.”

“No, really. What do I have to do to get upper body strength like that?”

Marinette stepped back and tossed her pigtail over her shoulder, smirking as she flexed for him with her hip cocked to one side. “Pound dough and deliver for a bakery for ten or so years, and you just might get some muscle on those scrawny arms.”

Chat’s jaw dropped, and Marinette remembered belatedly that she wasn’t actually Ladybug at that moment, she was Marinette. And Marinette of all people did not tease (flirt with? Ugh, the line was so _fuzzy_ ) Chat Noir. She stood up straight and squared her shoulders and breathed, watching him intently for a reaction.

She both got one and didn’t. Chat blinked rapidly and closed his mouth, and shook his head once as if to clear water out of his ears. “I- I guess I’ll have to put in an application,” he said slowly.

Relief swept through Marinette. She hadn’t just blown her cover, and if Chat was willing to play her lapse of judgement off as a joke, then so was she. “I’ll put in a good word with the owners,” she couldn’t help but say with a cheeky grin.

Chat relaxed as well and opened his mouth to fire back a retort, but a distant bell rang out and make the both of them start. “School!” They said together, frantic. What happened next was a blur, Marinette grabbing both boxes and sliding up next to Chat without a word. He wrapped an arm around her waist and launched them both into the air with seamless grace before driving the point of his staff into the ground. They descended as the staff retracted, landing out of sight at one of the school’s side doors.

“Here,” Marinette said, holding out the box and bouncing on her toes. They might have made good time with their unorthodox mode of transport, but she was still late and she had to get to class _now._

Chat nodded and grabbed the box, tucking it under one arm. “See you around, little lady.”

“You too, Chat. I’ll look forward to your application.”

He chuckled and gave her that familiar two fingered salute before he was gone, flying over the school building and out of her sight. Marinette smiled after him for only a moment before remembering that _oh yeah she had to get to class right this second._

She sprinted through the hallway and almost passed her own classroom. “I’m here!” She gasped as she burst into the room, half a second after Madame Bustier called her name for attendance. A smattering of giggles made its way across the room, mostly from the direction of Chloe and Sabrina.

Mme. Bustier raised an eyebrow but shook her head fondly. “You barely made it, Marinette. Please take your seat.”

“Yes!” Marinette scurried to her desk and fell in next to Alya, hand on her chest as she tried to catch her breath.

Alya giggled and shot her a thumbs up. “Nice,” she whispered. “You’re not the tardy one for once.”

Marinette frowned. “What?”

Alya shrugged and pointed to the desk in front of them. Nino sat where he usually did, head in his chin, but he looked distracted. Marinette saw why almost immediately, though she couldn’t believe it; Adrien wasn’t in his seat.

“Where is he?” Marinette hissed under her breath.

“I don’t know. Didn’t you find him earlier?” Alya whispered back, but turned her face forward when Mme. Bustier shot them a look so Marinette didn’t have a chance to answer.

Marinette frowned. Was Adrien still in that empty classroom? She thought he would have gotten up soon after. Did he fall asleep? Did he miss lunch? Worse, was he kind and chivalrous enough to be out there in the school building looking for her after she ran away?

However fleeting, her worries were cut short. The classroom door slid open slowly and Adrien walked in, looking composed but nervous. Marinette didn’t blame him; having everyone’s attention during a photoshoot is different from walking into class late and feeling the stares of your classmates.

“Adrien, you’re tardy,” Mme. Bustier said crisply.

“Sorry, Madame,” Adrien answered. He hesitated at her desk before stepping forward, speaking softly to the teacher so no one else could hear. Mme. Bustier’s stern look faltered and was soon replaced by barely concealed pity.

“I understand,” she said finally. “But don’t make a habit of it.”

“Yes, Madame.” Adrien shot her a pained smile and trudged over to take his seat next to Nino.

Alya nudged her with her elbow and looked pointedly between Adrien and the box in Marinette’s lap, raising her eyebrows. Marinette shushed her and took out a pen and a scrap of paper. Not letting her brain catch up to her hand, she scribbled a quick note, slapped it on top of the box, and lowered the box to the floor next to the stairs. A delicate, well placed shove with her foot sent the box toppling onto the next step down, and she covered the sound with a cough. No one looked up.

No one, that is, except Adrien. While Marinette pretended to be absorbed in taking notes, she watched as Adrien carefully leant over to pick up the note from the top of the box. She waited for what seemed like an eternity as he read the note and gently tucked it under his own notebook. When the teacher turned her back to write on the board, Adrien turned halfway in his seat to look at her over his shoulder.

In spite of the sleep she knew he’d been missing, the stress he was under, and the lunch he most certainly hadn’t eaten, his smile seemed more genuine than she had seen in a long while. “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” he whispered, and tipped her a wink.

Alya surreptitiously held Marinette’s hand through the aftershocks. Otherwise, she might have floated away from sheer joy.

**Author's Note:**

> In other news, local fanfic writer projects her own insecurities and anxieties onto perfectly innocent characters in the hopes that she too may one day be happy.


End file.
